2006 Worthing Report

Played 6 won 5 see full 2006 report by Steve Mahoney below.

The Pulling Power of Purple ( and other tales from Worthing 2006)

Our second visit to the Worthing Mixed Hockey Tournament and this year we went knowing more about the festival spirit. Under the guise of “Ewes N Rams” and with each player allocated a nickname linked to it (Ewe Wot?), Chard played and partied hard from Friday night to Monday afternoon.

For the safety of the local population, some of the wilder elements (the Whitefield and Ellard /Swain party) were kept a few miles out of town on a caravan park at Littlehampton where Richard spent much of his time brewing and bottling sufficient Snakebite to sustain Anna and anyone else who cared to partake before, after or during matches. The rest of us burnt the candle at both ends from our base at the Manor Guest House.

The advance party wasted no time donning their pristine purple tournament shirts on the Friday evening and heading for the pub to be drawn into conversation with locals captivated by the arrival in their midst of such attractive sport-playing strangers, with their unusual names emblazoned across their backs, from the far off land of sunshine and cider. From pub to curry house (sorry- restaurant serving contemporary Indian cuisine!), to guesthouse to collect stragglers (all Ewes!) to the Chatsworth Hotel and the welcome party hosted by Penguins HC where the drinks flowed and the disco boomed till 3 a.m.

Saturday morning, up in time for 8 o’clock breakfast and down to Palatine Park for the first match--at 9.30!! Were we raring to go? Are Ewe kidding? The heroics of Gary Wheaton in goal, the outstanding performance of Dave Lury in the back three and the attacking efforts of James “Spud” Spurdle were all in vain. Bumpy grass pitches, confusion over playing positions and with some still trying to remember which end of the stick to hold, we were comprehensively beaten by a team who had obviously been tucked up in bed with cups of Horlicks and lights out by 10.30 the night before.

With time to kill before our next match, (five hours to be precise), the team took the chance to huddle together for warmth, catch up on some sleep or ease hangovers with more alcohol (cueRichard Whitefield!). Spirits (no pun intended)among the Ewes were raised by the arrival of two male streakers staging an impromptu sit-in on the nearest pitch as a game went on around them. The teams playing coped admirably with the interruption despite the risk of confusion with more than one ball on the pitch at the same time!

The rest ( and the entertainment for the ladies?) produced a remarkable transformation in the afternoon fixture and a first half hat-trick from Andy Swain secured victory. Any hope he might have had of Ann showing how impressed she was by this display of scoring prowess was dashed when she was hit in the face by the ball and reduced to the role of spectator for the rest of the weekend with an eye all the colours of the rainbow.

Saturday evening meant party night again, this time at the Assembly Rooms. We are learning as we go. Next year the “tourists” need a fancy dress theme to match those of most of the other teams there who obviously knew all about it and came prepared. With the majority of the squad crawling in around 3 a.m. again, a lie-in and 10 o’clock breakfast were just what was needed to allow everyone to recover before the first match on Sunday at the more acceptable time of 1.30 p.m. The opponents were C4 Old School (Canterbury, Christchurch and something else beginning with C University--four Cs you see!) Ex-students, all in their twenties but dominated by four chaps who thought they would run rings round us. Oh how we relish a challenge like that. With Steve Mahoney living up to his tournament name in defence (Ram Chop--with the emphasis on “chop“) and Jenny Forsyth grabbing two goals, Chard came from 1-2 down to win 4-3. Age, experience and cynicism beats youthful enthusiasm and skill every time--on bumpy grass pitches anyway.

Another win later in the afternoon and it was back to the guesthouse for dinner over which our hosts, Steve and Sandy, awarded certificates for:

Most Polite Guest: Dan Batten ( a shining example of good manners at all times)
Best Tournament Name: Lois Butcher ( Ewtitily--not a spelling mistake by Chuckleprint)
Tidiest Guest(s): Gary Wheaton, Alan Cheffey, Spud and Dave Lury (easily achieved as they spent less time in their room than anyone else)
Untidiest Guest: Sophie Kelly (for the second year running!)

Caroline Dredge must have been in contention for the Tidiest Guest award but demolishing her chair before dinner probably did the same to her chances--not the way to win friends and influence guesthouse proprietors Caroline!

Post dinner, Sunday night entertainment was slightly lower key; a drinking game at the pub, curtailed at 11 p.m. before our hosts Steve and Sandy slid under the table, by last orders. However, with everyone up to the party pace now, a few more drinks and snacks full of saturated fats were consumed back at the guesthouse where the cloak of editorial censorship falls upon proceedings until 3 a.m. when your correspondent, having finished a half bottle of Southern Comfort, decided it was time for bed.

With eye lids propped open at breakfast on Monday morning, rain lashing down and wind gusting, some were contemplating horse-whipping Mr Cheffey for suggesting we stay and play the extra day. Luckily for him, the weather cleared just in time and we reached Palatine Park for another 9.30 start just in time to meet Anna Whitefield clutching the team bottle of wine, a reward for our being there to play the game. Apparently, after three nights socialising and two days hockey, some teams don’t show--can’t think why.

The two Monday games on a bumpy and now slippery and muddy surface were definitely of the casual knock around variety with scant regard for rules or even numbers of players participating, a social and fun end to a great tournament. We still won both though. So, the record will show:

Ewes N Rams 0 Northgate 3
Ewes N Rams 3 Wapping Warriors 0
EWes N Rams 4 C4 Old School 3
Ewes N Rams 2 Zebedees 0
Ewes N Rams 3 Headless Chickens 2
Ewes N Rams v someone other than Strollers Originals-- a win!

Ewe of the tournament--Ros Clemmans
Ram of the tournament--Dave Lury
Top scorer--Dan Batten ( he was so polite, opposition defences didn’t have the heart to stop him)

Thanks to Gary Wheaton for organising the tour shirts and top quality white socks, to Ros for handling the finances and logistics of our accommodation, to Steve and Sandy at the Manor Guest House and to Penguins HC for hosting the tournament. Here’s looking forward to 2007.

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