Purple Provides Pep for Posse on Penguins’ Pilgrimage

 

Last year’s super seven social hockey aficionados were augmented to a tour party of ten this time round for the fourth annual participation in the Penguins’ Mixed Tournament at Worthing. The well-seasoned hands: Alan Cheffey, Gary Wheaton, Ros Clemmans, Dave Lury, Clare Huntley, James Spurdle and Steve Mahoney were joined by returnees Sophie Kelly and Jennie Forsyth and tour novice Claire Baker-Hoare for the perennial programme of purple powered hockey and entertainment.

 

The posse, resplendent in Ewes & Rams purple tour shirts partook of the traditional papadums, padina, pathia and pilau on the Friday night before heading for their favoured watering hole (The Cricketers) for some pre-tournament practice on alcoholic intake, safe in the knowledge that their first fixture at Palatine Park was not until 10.30 on the Saturday morning. Fortunately for Cheffers, his plaintive persistence about partying to the wee small hours at the Chatsworth Hotel was ignored. Unbeknownst to all, there had been a change of policy-no ticket, no entry and we did not have tickets. Could have been a lynching!

 

Following a half decent night’s sleep and a hearty breakfast, the team found itself with the honour of playing the tournament’s official opening match against Penguins’ Veterans with the Lady Mayor of Worthing herself getting the game underway of the prime pitch in front of a big crowd possibly drawn by the quality of the hockey but more likely by the proximity of the beer tent and food stands. Next year we expect to be back to a 9.30 start on some far flung corner of the ground because Ewes & Rams had the impudence to beat their hosts 1-0. James Spurdle knew how to behave, spurning a hatful of chances, but Madam Chairman Ros Clemmans would insist on converting a penalty flick to spoil things. Sorry Penguins!

 

The second match on the Saturday was notable for two things: firstly, a comprehensive 0-5 defeat by a far too useful outfit called Riversiders (who turned out to be a combination of Surbiton and East Grinstead) and, secondly, Dave Lury tearing tendons in his leg which appeared to reduce the tourists to nine nominally fit and able players. However, nothing short of permanent paralysis was going to get in the way of the Saturday night party and Dave (or “Hopalong” as he was now sympathetically renamed) gamely donned his checked shirt, neckerchief, sheriff’s star, imitation Colt revolvers and sparkly blue Stetson (with a hint of purple) and limped into La Luna, the Italian restaurant to the general bemusement of all other diners with the exception of the Lady Mayor who just happened to be seated at the table nearest the front door with her husband. Recognising us from the morning game, she greeted all with a big smile and a kiss. Replete with pasta and pizza, the cowboy clad posse moseyed into Wild West Worthing’s Wetherspoons for two or three fingers of red-eye and tipped their hats to a couple of the town’s good-time gals before heading to the Assembly Hall for the fancy dress party. Why else would we have been dressed as cowboys?

 

To borrow a phrase from that well-known cartoon cowboy, Yosemite Sam, it was the “rootenist, shootenist” party in town made all the better by the appearance of the eleventh member of the squad, the inflatable plastic, prickly pear cactus which was the centre of our best dance moves. The posse sure danced purdy and, being no party-pooper, Hopalong Lury hobbled out onto the dance floor for a group hug and singalong to some 70s & 80s classics until 1 a.m. Getting used to his suggestions being ignored, Cheffers then tagged along back to the guesthouse (minus his traditional post-party visit to Subway) where fatigue induced by hockey and energetic dancing (with a little assistance from alcohol) finally set in for the diehards around 3 a.m.

 

If Saturday had seemed to provide a gentle start, Sunday was unbelievable-first match at 1.30 playing Campden Tigers from Leicestershire. The result was pretty unbelievable as well. A 5-0 win under Sophie Kelly’s canny captaincy, with Jenny Forsyth playing a blinder and Cheffers scoring two. More remarkable still was the effect of a couple of pints of Purple Nasty (the tournament’s brew of choice) on Dave Lury. Leg well strapped courtesy of St John’s Ambulance, he was transformed from Hopalong to “Lazarus Lury”, a rock in defence in the first half and a deadly striker in the second, also finding the net twice.

 

The other Sunday afternoon game also produced a comfortable win. 6-3 against Badger, Badger, Badger, a team most notable for the fact they had not changed their playing kit from Saturday, had worn it at the Assembly Hall that night and appeared intent on wearing it to the Sunday night party at the Pier. We don’t think they had showered in between time so the team name was probably derived from what they smelt like.

 

Anyway, no nightclub for the Ewes & Rams. Sunday nights we make our own entertainment. A pre-prandial aperitif of Pimms at the Manor Guesthouse, then off to Ye Old House At Home public house where we enjoyed an incredibly good value Chinese takeaway, then on to The Cricketers for pub games and a chance to snigger at the karaoke and dissuade Cheffers from getting up on stage before returning to the guesthouse and whiling away the early hours of a balmy Bank Holiday Monday morning with some more drinks and nibbles and a few games of charades. Who needs satellite TV and MP3s?

 

Last game, Monday morning, hot at 10.30 and threatening to become a scorcher. Opposition Assyum Scrumpy Bumpkins featuring one player who appeared to have been in an alcoholic stupor from the moment he arrived at the tournament and whose team mates confidently predicted he was already on a train back home raiding the onboard bar. But no, come the pushback, there he was, large as life, stick in hand. Despite their name, this team came from nowhere near the West Country (somewhere Oop North instead) and didn’t seem to know why they had their name. Another win this time by a slender margin (3-2?) but correspondent Steve Mahoney’s recollection is clouded with pain caused by the final strike of the final ball of the tour which caused him to limp to first aid with a large lump on his right knee. He can still show you some yellow bruising (the purple shade having faded) and the lump (slightly smaller) six weeks on.

 

The 2009 tournament is on 2nd, 3rd and 4th May. Put it in your diaries now if you don’t want to miss out on the fun